Grave Summer Memories
by Sins of Angels
Summary: Oneshot. James sits down for a game of chess against an unlikely opponent, and it ends up, as always, to be much more than a simple game...


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or James Potter. Or Lily Evans. Or Sirius Black. Or Remus Lupin. Or Peter Pettigrew. And technically, the only thing I do own is this silly plot and Charles Potter, who doesn't quite exist in the books. But he exists in my head, which I don't know if it gives me the right to own him in any way, but I claim him as mine, until I'm proven wrong. I even raised a flag from his ear, which he broke off and yelled at me about, but minor details and all that…right, don't sue me. Please?

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Sins of Angels: Yeah. Um, read on, please? And review, it'll make me happy and merry and jolly and all that stuff and they make me want to write more, because it's all fun and stuff. Yeah. I'm very articulate, as you can see. Anyway, enjoy!

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Chapter 1: Chess Again 

James Potter sat down on the ground in the warm summer day. He took out the chessboard and his pieces, and then reached into a pocket he keeps closed as a rule and pulled out his opponent's pieces. He set up the board.

"Chess again, Charles? The one game you've always won against me. The game you taught me to play. Such is the meaning of irony, I suppose.

"I haven't seen you in a long while. It's not like I didn't want to…I only got so far, every time, ever since the last time I was here, before I went to Hogwarts. I brought chess then too, remember? Irony again.

"A lot has happened, Charles. I'm going into seventh year. You never made it that far, did you? Pawn to F3.

"Since I last talked to you, I met someone. She's…she's like the girl you told me you wanted. She's perfect. She's got everything you described, everything I could have ever wanted.

"Sometimes I wonder if she was meant for you instead of me. I wonder if she's not meant for me. Bishop to H3.

"But, then I see her. I want to be with her forever. You know what that feels like? I love her, I know it. I can't bring myself to say it to anyone else but you, Charles. And yet, she seems to loathe me.

"She'd love you, though. You, the studious, mature one of the Potter clan. Dad's prized son, his greatest accomplishment. I'd love to say it was as simple as she was meant for you, but I was meant for her. That's someone's sick idea of a joke, I guess. Knight to C3.

"And me, I'm going into seventh year, as I said. And yet, I seem not to have aged a bit. I've been making changes the past year, trying new things. And Sirius hates it. He hates all of it. He got so fed up with me that he almost sent Remus on Snape! He doesn't use his head sometimes. Well, all the time. Pawn to D3.

"I mean, I laughed with him when he hexed Snape to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes the first week. I laughed at his pranks, at my pranks, for the past six years. Oh, brother, I've been such a damn fool! Why couldn't you steer me in the right direction? But you can't be there all my life, that I know for sure. Bishop to D2.

"This is nice, playing chess again. I'm glad we can do this. It helps, you know. Even though you always win.

"Sirius has it into his head that I'm becoming like his brother. Regulus left us, by the way. He started to act weird, and was soon using sarcasm and wit against us, unlike him at all. I think he knows something we don't; in fact I'm almost positive. But I can't help it, he's not my brother. And Sirius, he can't deal with it. He won't own up to it, you know how he is. He hates to stop laughing, he hates the thought of "growing up". And he hates that I want to grow up. Rather like Peter Pan, really. Queen to F1.

"I see his point, and I understand why he gets so mad at me. I'm growing up, and he knows if I do it, he'll have to too. Only, he's already grown up. He thinks I don't know it, that I'm blind or something, but he's grown up. He just doesn't show it, he doesn't think about it, and he hides behind the stupid jokes we pull. And if I grow up, he has no choice. Remus already matured, although not by choice. Being a werewolf requires a certain amount of maturity. And if I leave him, which I hate doing, but I'll have to eventually, he'll have Peter left. He would be able to do anything anymore unless he follows me and grows up. He knows it, and so do I. He doesn't think I do, but, like always, I know a lot more than people give me credit for. Queen to B5.

"Like Lily Evans. I know she likes me. I can see it, I can even sense it. She likes me in a way that she can't hide, and that is that she thinks I'm good looking. However, she dislikes me in a way she chooses to display, often loudly, to everyone. She dislikes my personality. She hates the person I am around her, around everyone. Damn. You took my queen.

"I don't understand it, though. You told me what to do, you gave me all the advice I needed, all the things I wanted to know about life, about how to get what I want and how to make it work. But then Lily Evans comes in, and around her…I just lose my cool. I can't keep it together when she flashes those green eyes of hers at me. I freeze up, and I revert to my basic instinct, be a total prick. Pawn to H3.

"But _why_, Charles? Why can't I just act like myself, like the person that I buried at eleven and vowed to never be until I couldn't avoid it anymore. I can't avoid it. I can't laugh and joke my way through life, not with this coming war. Not with the war starting in Hogwarts itself. I have to be myself, I have to act my age and mature, and I have to do it soon, no matter what Sirius says. Pawn to G4. There. We're even now, queen for queen.

"I'm an Animagus, by the way. A stag. I managed to brew the potion, with help from Remus, Sirius and Peter, in the start of fifth year. We even made a map of Hogwarts, one that shows us people and where they are, and who they are. We came up with it, the four of us. It's amazing what we're capable of if we put our mind to it. Pawn to G5.

"We're just kids, you know. Refusing to grow up. We're just like you were, playing with me out here, near the forest. It was nice, you know? You gave me someone to look up to. You still do.

"I only wish I could show Lily Evans the real me. I wish I had the strength you had, Charles, and I could emerge. I wish I could just come out, and be fine. Bishop to B4.

"It's been six year, Charles. Six year of rejection, of laughter, of general and utter chaos. Six of the best years of my life. What was that saying? All good things must come to an end?

"I think it's about time they did come to an end. I think it's about time I started acting myself. I start seventh year tomorrow, and I start being myself, I start growing, maturing. I can do it, Charles. I know I can. I know you know I can, and sometimes that matters more than anything else in the world.

"You won again. No wonder, really. You always win. And I suppose, like before, I have to take some of your oh so loved sayings to heart and use it in my life again. That was the deal."

James reached into the bag and found a small box. He opened it and gently extracted a rolled-up piece of parchment.

"_Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. Said by Norman Cousins_," James read. He broke out into a sad grin.

"I told you, Charles, didn't I? Irony is up and about today."

James took the pieces and put them in the respected separate bag, while shoving the board and his pieces roughly into the bigger bag. He looked at the quote and, just as he'd always done, committed it to memory, raised his hand and let the small piece of paper fly in the wind. He then put the bag on his shoulder, and took the other one tightly in his other hand. He glanced back down.

"Goodbye, Charles. See you next game, where your cleverly bewitched pieces will beat me once more. Just like you always had."

Taking one last look at the tombstone, he sighed and left the grave, turning the brotherly advice given to him by someone who has been dead for six years over in his mind.

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Sins of Angels: Confused, anyone? I hope not. If you are, let me know and I'll explain. And please review! I want to know what you think of it, as it helps me write better stories! And thank you very much for reading, to all of you! 


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